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World’s first heavyweight Tennis champion

Mike was the world heavyweight boxing champion, a title he practised and fought hard to acquire through discipline, hard work and skill. He won his championship fight against an opponent widely suspected of using banned performance enhancing substances. Mike deserved every last bit of his boxing success.

Then one day he decided to take on the world of tennis. At the start of his very first match, he walked across the court and knocked out his opponent with a swift uppercut. “Hey – that is not fair!”, a lone spectator shouted. “He worked hard for those muscles, why should he not use them?”, his fans retorted. “You are just jealous of his boxing success. What’s ‘fair’ got to do with it? This is professional sports, you do everything you can to win”.

A small group of stuck-up tennis-lovers wouldn’t have any of it “It is against the rules of tennis, and it is unsporting”, they said. Mike’s loyalists replied “Don’t you see – this is a great thing for tennis! We all want to make tennis widely accepted. This is exactly the kind of publicity it needs. Tennis is not popular enough yet in our corner of the world, we can’t be sticklers for rules yet. We can have rules later, when it’s established”

Later that night, an unknown party broke into Mike’s locker and emptied their bladder all over Mike’s tennis gear. They also left a note saying “Respect the rules of tennis” – an action that dismayed both sides.

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14 thoughts on “World’s first heavyweight Tennis champion

  1. Really?? This is a practical joke right?

    Who is Mike and how is he associated to Techzim.

  2. Is today the first of April, I need to check my calendar. What does this article even mean.

  3. I wouldn’t want to be the “unknown” party who broke into the locker of a heavy weight boxing champion. Did they not realise that DNA can be traced from the contents of ones bladder? Emptying it over Mikes tennis gear seems like a foolish thing to do.

      1. Moral of the story – Pick your opponents and your VPN provider wisely! Engage in legitimate protest but refrain from malicious criminal acts. The locker room has eyes and ears. We all want to see a thriving e-commerce sector emerge here in Zimbabwe!

      1. u r right bt this is nonsense, evryhwhere u go there is always a rule tht collides with yos ,can it b politics ,religious (I bet u knw satan thinks he z right) , security agents (poor Dzamara) so this is utter rubbish

  4. If I were, I would have cast myself in a heroic light, rather than as a mictating miscreant.

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